How to Move Away From Family
Moving away from family can bring a mix of emotions, even when you know it’s what you want. There’s no right or wrong way to handle such a major life change. Everyone’s experience is different depending on their relationships, circumstances, and what the move means for them.
If you’ve already decided to move away from family, you may be excited about what’s ahead while also feeling guilty, sad, anxious, or unsure about leaving the people you love. Those feelings can exist at the same time. Having a few ways to cope with them can make the transition a little easier.
Tips for Coping With “Moving Away From Family” Guilt
You may feel guilty about making this decision, but that’s okay. We often try to avoid emotions that are harder to handle, but you are capable of moving forward while experiencing feelings of guilt and excitement at the same time.
Moving away doesn’t mean that you care any less about your family or friends. It means you’re making a change in your life, and adjusting to that change can take time. Here are some ways to cope with the emotions that can come with moving away from the people you love.
Focus on Quality Time vs. Quantity Time
You may not see your family and friends in person as often, but luckily, technology allows us to connect more easily. Use social media, texting, and video calling to stay connected with your loved ones. You can even try writing letters for something different. After all, who doesn’t like getting mail?
In-person time is still important, too. Take time to make future plans and get plane tickets ahead of time so you know when you are going to see your family next. Being able to count down the days on your calendar can help.
Acknowledge and Validate Your Own Emotions
Making such a big move can come with lots of different feelings: guilt, sadness, regret, excitement, anxiety, and many more. It’s important to remember that all the emotions you’re feeling are valid. It might feel tempting to push away strong, uncomfortable emotions, but try giving yourself space to experience them instead.
You might also tend to focus more on your negative feelings than your positive ones. However, it’s okay to lean into the joy and sense of adventure that you’re tapping into by moving. This decision is worth celebrating, and your own happiness is important.
Practice Self-Compassion
While this process may be something you want, it might not be easy. Be as gentle with yourself as possible during this time. You might struggle with your emotions, adjusting to your new city, and missing your family. Moving comes with lots of changes, and it takes time to adjust.
Part of having self-compassion is setting realistic expectations for yourself. You don’t have to expect yourself to adjust to your new city right away, especially if this is your first time living away from home. Take it slow and be patient.
Lean on Your Supports
You shouldn’t have to navigate this experience all on your own. Having the support of a few trusted loved ones can make a huge difference in helping you cope with all the transitions and emotions that come with moving.
This is also a great opportunity to make new friends in the area you’ve moved to. You can join clubs, like a book club or social sports league, to help you connect with other local people. Having this social interaction can also help you get out of your head and into the moment.
Staying connected with the people you already trust while gradually building new relationships can help your new city begin to feel more like home.
Recognize That This Move Doesn’t Have to Be Permanent
Be open to the possibility that your move might not work out the way you hoped it would. Major family events happen and might cause you to move back home. Or, the sadness of missing birthdays and other celebrations might weigh on you after a while.
However, if you regret moving, you can always move back or someplace else. If you struggle with perfectionism, this can be a difficult concept to accept. You might feel like a failure for moving and regretting it, but you’re human. You’re allowed to change your mind.
Giving yourself permission to change course can also take some of the pressure off the move itself. You don’t have to know exactly how you’ll feel six months or a year from now. You can give yourself time to experience your new life and decide what works for you.
Therapy Can Help You Cope With Moving Away From Family and Friends
Creating a new life in a different place without your best friend or family unit can feel scary and daunting. Know that these are normal emotions that you don’t have to deal with on your own. Therapy is a place that can help you feel more supported as you adjust to this major life transition.
You can talk through any internally driven guilt or guilt you feel from others. Whether you’re feeling a bit guilty or really struggling with overwhelming emotions, speaking with a counselor can help you sort out your emotions, adjust to the changes in your life, and discover what you really want out of life.
As an anxiety therapist in Denver, I’m passionate about helping young women connect with their passions and learn how to break old patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism. I’ve seen firsthand, through my work as a therapist and my own healing journey, how freeing it is to live in alignment with your own values.
Moving away from family can be exciting and difficult at the same time. You can miss the people you love while still building a life that feels right for you. Give yourself time to adjust, stay connected to the people who matter to you, and remember that creating a life somewhere new doesn’t mean leaving those relationships behind.
If you’re interested in learning more about my approach to therapy and how I can help, I encourage you to schedule a complimentary consultation. I welcome any questions or concerns about the process and whether we might be a good fit for each other.
